Right Me Up

Wankstas:

Hello creatures. How goes it? Hope your weekend was full of food, drink, and lofty spirits. Remember though, safety first. Click it or ticket: What's holding YOU back? Always keep in mind that parents who host, lose the most. Do your part to prevent forest fires. Look both ways before crossing a street. Always have a fire escape plan. Properly implement a tornado drill. By the way, one of the most underrated things ever was and always will be letting out an explosive gas during a gradeschool tornado drill. The faculty and staff are essentially encouraging students to pass gas as they make everyone get down into a submissive position and hover their backsides into the air, thus setting up the perfect storm for gas to be aggressively launched all over a significantly overcrowded room. There is only one winner during a fire drill: the class clown rebel kid who both recognizes and uses the golden opportunity to his advantage and actually rips some seriously pungent gas into the atmosphere. Everybody else who is subject to the rebel's putrid gas definitely loses big time. They are literally forced to accept and embrace the gas because if you get up and cause a scene, you get into trouble. The Gasees, if you will, get a seriously raw deal in this situation. The Gasser, however, lies victorious on the field of battle. The Gasser, if targeted, will probably be slapped with a demerit, but it was worth it. Sorry for gassing?

There are many a things that go way underappreciated. The lack of street cred that these items receive makes me sick. As is customary, I have compiled a list of things that I believe fly way too far under the radar in our society. Listen up:

a. Rally's French Fries
b. Mr. Hero Roman Burgers
c. Early morning Tee Times
d. Early risers / Morning people
e. Being genuinely nice
f. Disney's 'The Rescuers Down Under'
g. Bass Fishing Video Games                                           
h. Instrumental versions of Songs
i. Mr. Pibb
j. Des'ree - You Gotta Be
k. Kix Cereal
l. Bumpin' seriously Fresh Music during a Shower
m. The History Channel
n. Girls with Dude Names
o. Sex Panther Cologne
p. Luffa Sponges
q. Forts with a Television in them
r. Successfully using Combined Words such as 'Nevertheless' in the course of a normal conversation
s. Tragically Awkward Moments
t. Foot Baths
u. Jazz Music
v. Men's Hair Sculpting Wax
w. Using Antiquated Terms such as 'Supper' or 'Rapscallion' or 'Fortnight'
x. Receiving a bomb ass Fruit Basket full of quality goodies
y. Good 'n Plentys
z. Personal Pan Pizza Pies

QUOTE OF THE WEEK:

"Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same."

- The Fray


CLOSING THOUGHTS:

Always remember to count your blessings. And on a final note, how beautiful is crystal clear blue water? Brad Mattson 'Likes' this! Happy Valentine's Day to babes everywhere!


You're Listening to 'All Things Considered' on NPR,

Meatson, out.