Fool To Think

Cash Money Millionaires:

What up Oxford. Good to be back. My blankets, pillows, bed, and couches have missed me, and I have missed them in return. There is nothing better than a solid nap at your home base posting zone back at school. There are no parents. And as it turns out, the process of answering parental phone calls just happens to be optional. Class attendance has also proved to be optional as well. Assignments, exams, and studying are all optional. Brick Street is required. It has a mandatory attendance policy. No Exceptions. Any questions, comments, concerns, or refusals to comply with party and/or bar sanctions and policies should be directed at the toll-free number belonging to Mr. Andrew Borgia at 1-800-I-Am-The-Best-Partier-Ever. I am currently signed up for BRK 417 (CRN 19245) with Professor Borgia, which meets SMTWRFS at Brick Street from 11:30 PM to 2:30 AM. His office hours follow right after the class from 2:30 AM until 4:30 AM at the late night party up above, SkyBox. He is the best professor guaranteed or your money back! He is the craziest ever! I still have to scope the class roster to see if there are any hotties with bodies also in the class. So you say you have already had the old bull, and now you want the young calf? Andrew Borgia is both the old bull AND the young calf. He is Legend like Will Smith. His style is impetuous. His defense is impregnable, and he's just flat-out ferocious. He wants your heart. And you wanna know what? He will get your heart, whether you try to fall head over heals for him or not. His looks will get the very best of you. His charm and his poetic nuggets of wisdom will have your heart begging for mercy and fresh air. His sex is on fire. He will have you even before he says hello. Andrew Borgia is a benchmark human being that normal men can only aspire to be, and a gold standard human being that sexy females can only aspire to be on. Ladies love him so much, and I do not blame a single one of them for a New York minute. Borgia is the Carter, so hold on to your teenage daughter. Sorry Ms. Jackson, I am for real. Never meant to make Borgia cry, I apologize a million times. Love you Andrew. Stay perfect.

Anywho, what a joke. Life at this point in my life is just so overbearing and demanding. It has really taken a toll on my body both physically and mentally. I have aged. I am quickly approaching John Ryan levels of baldness, and John's bald head is a Verizon Dead Zone. Absolutely zero reception. That's a fact, Jack. I will soon be investing in hair growth products. Johnny, any advice? Buy more hats? Fair enough, acknowledged. I have gray hairs creeping up on me even faster than Stephen Corey Mack at a track and field event. I look tired, no energy. Does an end exist to this madness? I have my doubts. Oh yes, I think it is worth noting that I literally live a healthy 30 feet away from multiple (i.e., more than one) local watering holes (an antiquated term for "bar"). I receive daily text messages from bars that reveal drink specials. Is anyone picking up on a theme here? Trouble is on the horizon. We must protect this house. "Now I'm done" (B. Quinn).

So, I was thinking. How lucky am I and everyone else that gets the opportunity to attend a great college? What an unbelievable stepping stone to help us get to where we want to be. What a great place to make lifelong friendships. In college, I have experienced many things. Not a single event, however, will ever come close to the day that I got to meet Andrew Borgia for the very first time. There I was, standing in front of, shaking hands with, and staring into the eyes of a legendary and iconic figure. That moment in time will stand still forever. It will stand the test of time the way a Rolex watch does, or the way Victoria's special secret has (does anyone know her secret per chance?). Nothing will change that, ever. The idea that we get to spend four years of our life in an atmosphere like this is unbelievable. Remember to count your blessings. This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.

QUOTE OF THE WEEK:

"3, 6, 9.
Damn, she fine.
Hopin' she can sock it to me one mo' time.
Get low, get low.
To the window, to the wall."

- Lil' Jon (& the Eastside Boyz)


RANDOM ALANIS MORISSETTE QUOTE OF THE WEEK:

"Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly.
He packed his suitcase, and kissed his kids goodbye.
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight.
And as the plane crashed down he thought, 'Well isn't this nice...'
And isn't it ironic? Don't you think?"

- Morissette, Alanis.


CLOSING THOUGHTS:

You can get it if you really want, but you must try. Try and try, try and try. You'll succeed at last.



Call Me Butter Because I'm On A Roll,

Meatson, out.