First order of business, Happy Christmas people. I hope your day was magical, full of holiday cheer, excitement, and laughter. I do hereby declare that laughter really is the best medicine as studies have statistically shown time and time again. For all those degenerates out there who have the personality of Scrooge (i.e., Ryan Paluf), I would desperately like to encourage you to turn your frown...upside down. If you are in fact a Scrooge/Paluf-like character, you had better hope that you have at the very least 50-60% of the good looks and illuminating physical attributes that I possess. Again, just to reiterate, the 50-60% is a bare minimum percentile. Generally, with my clients I would prefer that they actually possess upwards of roughly 80% of my key, highly-coveted physical features. I would like to set the record straight that no one truly is, or will ever be for that matter, on my level as far as general sex appeal and overall awesomeness. Not to blow smoke up my own bottom, but I feel as though I would be remiss if I did not mention that both my body and my mind have now been consistently ranked #1 among all leading competitors in its respective class for 22 years straight (i.e., since my birth) by J.D. Power & Associates. Each year's trophy is perched proudly on my rich mahogany mantle above my rare granite fireplace.
I would now at this time like to apologize to anyone who actually read the preceding information. Every once in a blue moon (essentially everyday), I make some type of statement(s) that generally involve just how good looking I am, or how it is literally not possible in this crazy, mixed-up world to achieve a level of awesomeness that exceeds my level. Reason being, there has actually not been a day that has gone by in my young life that my coolness level has not increased by at least a few coolness points by day's end. Having said that, since I [obviously] already started at a coolness level above everyone else, that leaves a 0% chance that anyone can even attempt to sniff my awesome levels as mine are increasing exponentially as each day draws to a close. So, sorry that I am really not sorry. "If it makes you feel any better, I forgot my reading glasses" (Home Alone).
Okay, so this time I am really apologizing for all of that bogus junk that was just written. If you actually read all of it, I am really sorry. If you actually read all of that tomfoolery and also laughed at any point, I am sorry again, but also do not blame you because I believe at least some of it was funny. That is highly up for debate, I suppose. The real reason I started writing all of that (aside from the fact that I am a strange dude) is because I think sometimes I can be overly self-conscious and worry about things that are just simply not worth my time or energy. I find myself joking around like that probably far too often. Perhaps the jokes serve as some sort of defense mechanism, a little protective shield that I put up when something in my mind is not clicking or agreeing with me.
As each day passes, and I become a bit wiser about the world we live in, I feel as though everyone has their own hand-crafted, customized defensive shield that they have learned to hide behind in times of need. It is in the nature of all human beings to resort to these defensive tactics when we are involved in a situation that we feel is uncomfortable and exploits our individual weaknesses, which are different for everyone. It is in these times that one should be aware of and recognize the moment that you are about to resort to your comfort zone and timidly hide behind your own personalized shield of defense that you have learned to rely on time and time again. It is in these times that one needs to learn to set aside your shield once it is out, and learn to continue on without it. Learning to set your shield aside and expand your comfort zone is how you grow as a person. You have to learn to rely on the uniqueness of "You." Everything about you, including good, bad, or indifferent qualities, is what makes you..."You." You must learn to recognize and embrace everything about you that makes you..."You."
It should be noted on record that while I am attempting to preach all of this, I am still so far away from truly appreciating everything about me that makes me the one unique, Bradley Thomas Mattson. However, I have been getting much better at appreciating my little quirks and nerdy tendencies that make me Bradley.
To add a few closing thoughts, I would just like to say how important it is to learn to become comfortable in your own skin. This is much harder for some people to learn than it will be for others. Some people, including myself at times, are just simply not happy with what they look like, who they are, or who they think they are starting to become. If you do not like something about yourself, you do have the ability to transform that certain characteristic into something different that you will actually like. Of course, it will always remain that there are just some things that are simply out of our hands. So, learn to act on the elements that are under our control, and more importantly learn to embrace and accept the elements that we do not have control over. Because, after all, that which we do not have control over is what makes you so unique. Finally, keep in mind the idea that who is anyone to actually judge your own personal value or worth. People love to put other people down. I am guilty of it myself. Do not let anyone try to put you down, ever. Do not let anyone try to tell you that you cannot accomplish something, ever. Who is anybody to try to define you. Remember that when it is all said and done and your time here on earth comes to a close, you never want to look back and wish that you had done it differently.
QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
"Hey, you wanna see the new Tweeder end zone dance?"
I am now officially 22 years young. I feel so lucky and blessed to reach this golden age as there are painful tragedies in this world that prevent far too many young, innocent lives from reaching their full potential and experiencing more of what life has to offer. I often find myself complaining throughout my days and weeks about what I do not have, or what others may have that I do not. I often find myself debating difficult questions in my mind such as "Why me?" or "Why not me?" and "Why now?" or "Why not now?"
I am beginning to realize, albeit with much difficulty, that these questions and those that are similar are absolutely a waste of our invaluable time that has been granted to us. Our only focus should be directed at cherishing the present moment, that is what is happening, where we are, and who we are with at this very second. Everything else is secondary. Sure, of course we can make tentative plans for the future, but that involves dealing directly with the present moment and making the very most out of it that we possibly can.
Life is so unpredictable. It truly is amazing how our life course can be significantly impacted or even change altogether in the blink of an eye. You may have what you consider to be concrete plans for the future, when out of nowhere something happens and all of those plans become pieces of scrap paper in the desk wastebasket.
Appreciate what you have, while you still have it. Your most coveted friends, family members, or special possessions can be gone in an instant, and when you least suspect it. Learn to live within the present moment. Do not ever question "Why me?" Try to find positive even in the most negative of circumstances. Keep in mind that if you think you have received an unfair deal in life, you certainly have not. No one is perfect, everyone experiences tough times. It will always remain: It is how you deal with, and how you recover from those tough times to become a better person that will ultimately define who you are.
QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
"I may be stupid, but I know what Love is."
- Forrest Gump
CLOSING THOUGHTS:
I felt the need for some more serious reflection. I am probably an idiot about 98% of each day, but it is always good to step back and realize what is truly important in life. I just started writing down some thoughts I had circling around in my head. My hope is that someone gets something out of it.
Lovers and Haters:
Welcome to the second installment of my blog, "Reflection: A Moment with Meatson." For those who are unaware, I believe it was my really nice friend Michael J. Bonitati who gave yours truly the nickname "Meatson." It really is quite simple if we step back and break it all down. Taking into consideration my imposing physical figure, rugged features, bad boy image, my affinity and dedication to moving heavy weight around at the gym, the fact that my diet consists primarily of various types of cuts of meat and heavy lager beers, the fact that I use musky Brut deodorant, and ultimately my "meathead" mentality, I would say that these items as well as other factors have brought about the birth of "Meatson." I am glad that we cleared that up. For furthur information please contact your local service provider.
I would like to give a shout out to John Curran. I read his blog way back when and became a fan. He's got some good stuff goin' on in his blog, he's a deep thinker and a baller. Although, it should be noted he still has my Titleist driver which is still at the present moment unpaid for. He does not even hit it solid anyways, and has most likely retired the driver from his bag anyways. I believe he still has yet to beat me on the golf course. Do not give up though Johnny, your day will certainly come.
Johnny's day will certainly come much like Tiger's day has finally come. I mean, really Tiger? A final tally on his total number of mistresses has yet to be, and will always remain unconfirmed. I think I want to call up TMZ and claim myself as one of Tiger's partners or "acquaintances" in hopes of receiving my 15 minutes of fame and perhaps a large cash settlement from the biggest boss himself, Eldrick Tiger Woods. I am undecided if Tiger deserves any type of break on this one. All signs point towards certainly not, but ladies and gentlemen this is Tiger Mother F'ing Woods. He is perhaps the most widely sought after and well known athlete and celebrity of our time. This story proves that every move he has made since age 3 has been (or eventually will be) documented and under the highly critical public microscope. His lifestyle is unlike anyone could ever imagine. Yes, it goes without saying that his $1 billion bank account has even more sex appeal than myself, but what he has to put up with everyday is a huge price to pay. One could say, "Brad, he plays fuckin' golf all day." True story, he does play golf pretty much everyday. However, I will not get too much into it because it's not worth it, but he endures more criticism, takes more sacrifices, and puts up with more garbage than anyone could fathom.
I think there are a few things to take away from this unfortunate mess that Tiger has got himself into. First, high profile celebrities and athletes should probably not be or get married. There are, of course, exceptions to everything. But on a whole, a divorce (like Tiger and Elin are now getting) is almost always the result of marriages among celebrities and athletes who go long stretches of time without being able to see each other. Secondly, we can learn that nothing is ever as it seems. Tiger has had a crystal clear, impeccable track record who has neither done any wrong, nor is capable of doing anything wrong. He was, up to this point, a freak of a human being: a dedicated family man (up for debate I suppose), a handsome guy, a legendary and iconic figure, oh...and the best golfer that this planet has ever produced. All of this along with endless other attributes. And now, we see superman actually exhibiting "human" traits, and ultimately succumbing to the pressures that life presents. His image, at least for the time being and for a long time to come, has now been totally altered. He must start over. Tiger will still be dancing in the future, just a little further away from the music now.
We can also learn the sad truth that people love to see other people fail. Everything is all good and funny, unless of course, the joke or bad news is on yourself. At that point, it is no longer considered funny. Funny the way it is, huh? Lastly, I think we should learn that everyone deserves a second chance in life. The fact of the matter is that life is just too damn short to hold grudges for a lifetime. If someone messes up, be mad, but only for a short time. The only thing you can do in life is accept what happens (good or bad), learn what you can from it, become a better person because of it, keep your head up and move on. You certainly will not and do not have to forget about a person's mistake, but you do have to forgive that person at some point.
Oh yes, I almost failed to mention, we can also learn that Tiger is going to sex rehab. True story.
QUOTE OF THE DAY:
"Every night when we say goodbye.
How can I help looking in your eyes.
Wondering why you and I haven't hit it.
Can we get it on...?"
- Soul Decision - "Faded" (Epic Song)
CLOSING THOUGHTS:
I am home for Christmas break, back in the Village by the Bay. Let's rage. Hope you enjoyed this second installment of my blog. Goodnight to all, and to all a goodnight.
"Dear Grandma: Someone once said, 'War is Hell.' They've never been to fat camp. I knew the food would be bad. But, even worse: Today, they killed the blob."
- Garner, Gerald.
Sorry, but I thought what better way to kick off my inaugural "blog" post than to share a few passages from the Gospel according to Gerald. And by the way, Gerald's father...Maurrrryyy Garner, "Did NOT send you to go-kart camp!" Alright my B, the Garner's have spoken, let's move on.
Actually, I can't think of anything interesting to write about. All I do is quote other people from movies and shows. I have very scarce resources floating around in my head to generate other things to talk about. So, let us gingerly touch our tips. I suppose we can burn a bit on my very nice friend, Mr. Ryan Anthony Paluf. I mean, what a guy. He will go to the ends of the earth and back just to put a smile on not only my face, but everyone else he comes into contact with. Ryan Paluf, my "little fullback." He is my rock. He is the Schaffer to my Degen. He is both the Michael AND the Anthony to my Armagno. He is the Corsi to my III. He is the perfectly proportional, but sizable dump logs to my toilet. He is the backbone of any team he is a part of, including athletic, service, and academic-oriented squads. And not to mention...a Heisman Trophy. I think Ryan's dream golf foursome would be something along the lines of 1. Kevin Rudolf, 2. Michael Myers, 3. Brian Kennelly (To Catch a Predator: RAW), and finally 4. Jim Rome. That is still up for debate, however. This guy is a real piece of work, you know that kids used to call him "Mongoloid Mike." True story. "I'm Ryan Paluf, and this is what I'm burning on." Paluf, out.
So, what else is on my mind? I'll be turning 22 years young coming up on December 22nd, let us party like Paluf in Vegas. I will now be accepting gifts in honor of my 22nd Anniversary of my time spent here on planet earth. Gifts under $100 bills will not be tolerated and will certainly not be accepted under any circumstances.
QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
"How fast does this thing go? Does it have automatic transmission? Does it have four-wheel drive...?"
-Mitch Murphy
CLOSING THOUGHTS:
I am new to this blog business. Overall, however, I feel as though this was a pretty successful opening blog. Just gimme a little while to get the creative thoughts up and running. I would like to thank everyone who made this blog possible. This blog was sponsored by Ryan Paluf and viewers like you.
To add a few closing thoughts, I would just like to say how important it is to learn to become comfortable in your own skin. This is much harder for some people to learn than it will be for others. Some people, including myself at times, are just simply not happy with what they look like, who they are, or who they think they are starting to become. If you do not like something about yourself, you do have the ability to transform that certain characteristic into something different that you will actually like. Of course, it will always remain that there are just some things that are simply out of our hands. So, learn to act on the elements that are under our control, and more importantly learn to embrace and accept the elements that we do not have control over. Because, after all, that which we do not have control over is what makes you so unique. Finally, keep in mind the idea that who is anyone to actually judge your own personal value or worth. People love to put other people down. I am guilty of it myself. Do not let anyone try to put you down, ever. Do not let anyone try to tell you that you cannot accomplish something, ever. Who is anybody to try to define you. Remember that when it is all said and done and your time here on earth comes to a close, you never want to look back and wish that you had done it differently.
